can’t say it’s been a pleasure

ok i want to still write up 406-410 but i wanted to get caught up so i could watch the show live this sunday, so i’ll have to get back to those. this episode was just too overwhelming to not write something.

it’s incredible how this entire season walt has been this blustering, delusional figure, believing himself to be the center of a story which could not possibly be less concerned with him. he’s been ignored, shut out, beaten, humiliated, and yet through all of that it was difficult to feel too sorry for him because he had so clearly brought it all on himself. but that moment, when skyler tells him that she gave the money away – to ted beneke no less – and he lets out that awful yawp, in that moment i can’t imagine anybody not feeling for walt who, for all his genius, has effectively sealed his own tomb, not to mention that of his family.

watching the show at my own pace, without the week-long wait in between, i don’t have to deal with any of the frustration that i imagine some people must feel, given the show’s relatively slow pace. i was reminded especially of what bryan cranston said during the breaking bad insider podcast for bullet points, talking about the pace of the show:

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that’s exactly what i felt during the last scenes of this episode. in a way it feels like this episode is the cumulation of not only the events leading up to it in the season, but in the entire series: hank’s brother being a dea agent, skyler’s entanglement with ted, walt’s mistreatment of jesse, and so on, and so on. and that moment where walt is lying there in the dirt looking up at skyler and he yells “Where’s the money?!” and the music just drops out…i definitely felt that weightlessness bryan cranston was talking about, just this incredible emotional DROP. i must have watched that scene five or six times last night. it was an unbelievably powerful moment that, from the careful, deliberate pacing of the show, feels so earned, and is horrifying, tragic, pathetic, and gratifying, all at the same time.

and there are still two episodes to go. that was the drop, heres where the ride really begins.

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